Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
