he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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