I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Enjoy the penises
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize