Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
