Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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