dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
