dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
