I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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