she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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