My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
