S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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