Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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