my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
