Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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