whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
