new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
