he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
