he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So much Jack, so little girl.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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