btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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