She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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