tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
