He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
