i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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