She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
