You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He did a backflip because drugs
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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