No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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