Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
