The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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