Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize