Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
