I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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