Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
