i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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