he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
