I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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