It's Friday. Sex?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize