I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
