Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
