dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
