I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i came on her dog
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
