I CAN MOONWALK!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize