and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
