$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
