guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
