I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize