glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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