Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm really busy with my period
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