Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
