Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
