AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
