How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
