i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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