Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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