I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
