dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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