Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
