carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
