just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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