Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
