just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
