can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize