Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
