It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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