what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
