she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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