Walk of Shame. In a state park.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
