JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
