I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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