Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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