hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize