have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
