the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
