I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
